Best friends.

The truth is that I’m not really close to my friends. Even my best friends. Yes, I do tell them secrets. But not all. I have 7 best friends amd all of them follow me on Tumblr. I tell each one of them a few secrets that only that particular one and I know. That’s it. Because I can’t trust myself to tell all of them because I know some of thrm will judge be based on that secret. It hurts me that I feel so insecure. I have never been known to have high self-esteem although I pretend to have it because I don’t want to seem weak. They will never knowbthe whole, true me because I’m just too afraid. I am so insecure about things yet I find it hard to cry it out. My life is a mess because of myself. I love God yet I criticize the religion. Ironic, isn’t it? It’s because of the fear of being judged. It’s hard to explain. But it’s mainly because of my insecurities.